“Am I A Jerk For Throwing My Siblings In Foster Care So I Can Have A Better Life?”

Source: Reddit

I have roughly too many siblings, and even more step siblings. Between my parents and my latest stepfather, we had 8 kids living here. Myself (19F), 3 half siblings on my mom’s side (15, 11, and 9), 4 step siblings (14, 12, 9, and 6), and 1 full sister (6f).

Things have never been particularly good or stable, but now we’re at rock bottom. My mother and stepfather are going to be going away for a long time, and everyone is in a rush to get all these kids into homes. I’m the only one who’s over 18, so everyone wants me to do it. I don’t want to.

I’d gotten an opportunity. My grandma on my father’s side offered to have 6f and I move in with her, and even pay for me to go to college. The thing is, she lives several states away. I talked to social services about this, and got the answer that I could move 6f without a problem because our parents were able to voluntarily give me guardianship of her and I’m her full sister. The rest I could only take in if I stayed in this state because they would be a full foster care placement though.

I’m sorry, but being forced to stay here would destroy my future. I could definitely survive, but I would be stuck in this horrible place working paycheck to paycheck. I could never have a real life. I made the obvious choice. The social workers were nice enough to arrange it to where 6f and I weren’t just standing in front of them during the pickup, but obviously they know exactly why they’re now in care.

The four of them that have phones have been texting and calling me non-stop. Some of them ask for help, and some just scream at me for abandoning them. I know the system is going to be really bad for them because of where they are and they’re ages, but I just can’t do it. I can’t blow this, this is mine and 6f’s first chance for a real life, and I feel like I owe it to both of us to take it. Am I in the wrong here? The kids and my mom think I am, my grandma thinks I should have “done something” but can’t say what and wouldn’t let them in her house even if it could happen. The only person who doesn’t think worse of me is 6f, who says she “likes the quiet”, but obviously doesn’t know the full story.

What else could I do?

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