Source: Reddit
My father has many faults. I am well aware of these and therefore tend to keep our interactions private. I still love him and I have developed a system to keep him from fu**ing me over.
When my fiance asked me to marry him I said yes. And then I went and privately told my dad about it. We had a nice dinner with my fiance and that was that.
My FMIL wanted to have an engagement party. I was fine with it. I just requested that she not invite my father. I explained that we had a strained relationship and that I preferred to keep him at a distance. She agreed.
I guess she thought she knew better than me. She wanted to “fix” our relationship and the first step.was inviting him to her home for a party with alcohol.
When I met my dad for dinner I specifically chose a restaurant that didn’t have a liquor license. And we went right after work. His car has a breathalyzer built in to make it start. I know what would happen otherwise.
When I saw my dad there my stomach flipped. I asked her what was going on and she said that a good daughter would want her dad there on this important day. I asked her to please make him leave. She said I was being rude. I went over to my dad and asked him to leave. He promised to behave. He was so happy to be invited.
I told my fiance that I might need to leave in a hurry and he had to come with me when I left. He knows the whole story. He agreed.
My father was fine at the beginning. Then wine came around. I glared at him and shook my head no. He took some. Then more. Then more.
He started getting “happy”. That doesn’t last. After dinner there were drinks. As soon as I heard him raise his voice I asked my fiance to leave. I faked a stomach problem and we left.
The least embarrassing thing he did was piss himself and puke on the lawn.
My FMIL is furious. She said that we should have told her that my father has a drinking problem. I said that it wouldn’t have been a problem if she hadn’t lied to my face about not inviting him.
My father is humiliated that he did this. I am just numb.
My uncle has no problem controlling my dad. He is a cop and he has come to several events with my dad where he kept him from drinking. My older brother’s wedding for example.
But he lives in another city. He would have been at the wedding. I’m just angry that she lied and I’m embarrassed and I’m venting here because I need someone to tell me I’m not the a***hole for not wanting to tell people my father is like this.
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