Am I Wrong For Making My Daughter Share Her Presents With My Stepdaughter.

Building a relationship with stepfather or stepmother or even step siblings takes time and loads of effort. One must try to create a positive relationship though it does not always work. Read the story to know what happened in this blended family and let us know if you agree with the father’s decision.

Source: Reddit

I (40f) was a single mother to my daughter, Amy (15f). I came out 3 years ago and married my wife Jenna (42f) last year. She has a daughter, Nora (13f). We all live together as I have full custody of my daughter. It was kind of hard for her to adjust to having a second mom, but they got along well.

The girls have their birthdays very close, only two days apart, so we decided to have a joint birthday party for both of them, since Nora had a hard time making new friends (they moved in with us and she’s very shy). Most of my family lives out of the country, so the gifts were sent a week early. It was a huge bag, with at least 20 gifts. The party was nice and we opened the bag at night once everyone left.

Jenna handed out the presents as she took them out. After 12 gifts in a row just for Amy, I checked the bag and froze to see that there was only one gift for Nora, from my parents. She pretended it wasn’t a big deal, but as she opened the present I saw her eyes drop. It was a $15 tumbler from Walmart. Not to sound ungrateful, but Amy’s gifts were much more expensive (lots of gift cards over $100, a new phone, limited-edition Funkos, designer clothes and lots of cards wishing her a happy birthday).

Needless to say, I blew up the family chat, calling out my parents, siblings, and extended family who sent gifts for not considering Nora and my parents for the cheap gift. No one took me seriously since: “It’s not our duty to give gifts to someone else’s kid” and “Amy deserved them, since I didn’t even throw her her own birthday party”, emphasizing that Jenna and Nora are my problem, not theirs.

Nora was clearly hurt, since it’s not the first time my family has left her out. At night, I asked Amy to share some of the gifts with her stepsister. Not all of them, just a couple of gift cards and some of the new clothes. Amy refused. This surprised me, since she never had a problem with sharing and even though she and Nora are not BFF’s, they usually get along. After asking why, Amy started crying, saying that she never wanted a joint birthday party, and that I forced her to share everything with Nora. They share a room for space and I make sure they’re both invited to the same parties and sleepovers, so that Nora won’t be left out. If they don’t invite both of them, then either of them goes.

Amy stated that she at least wanted her own gifts to be hers alone. I scolded her for being selfish with her stepsister, grounded her and took a couple of the presents to give to Nora. She turned them down because she didn’t want problems with Amy and it felt like pity. Since then, Amy has been cold to all of us. I just wanted my two girls to be closer with the joint party and have the same things. Am I wrong ?

Clarification: Jenna and I bought gifts for the girls (their own tablets), as well as their friends. Nora also received gifts from her extended family, but they sent for Amy as well.

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