Source: Reddit
I lost my youngest daughter Joy a decade ago. She left behind her husband and two children who are now 15 and 16 years old. My daughter was very close to her dad and me and when she was at her sickest, she begged us to stay in the kids’ lives and make sure they always knew she loved them and that we were her family just as much. She mentioned how worried she was that her husband would encourage them to forget her and would try to replace her for them with a new woman. She asked that we leave anything we might have left her to her children. We assured her we would never let the relationship end and that we would make sure they had a good life and would remember her always.
Eight months after she died her husband moved his now wife into their home. She had a baby with someone else and was also expecting a baby with someone. At that point he did attempt to make it a package deal where we could not see our grandchildren without treating his now stepchildren as our grandchildren and that we were to treat all future children of his the same. Otherwise we would need to be cut out to give our grandchildren the chance to form the new family bonds without interference from us. That they deserved the chance to have another mother and only see the new children as true siblings.
Their lawyer told them we would have a case to get grandparents visitation. We also sought advice on if we were denied access, if we could obtain that. We were told given our close relationship with the children it would be easy to get access through the courts. This led to us getting minimal access but it was all that was needed because our grandchildren were glad to see us and their aunts, uncles and cousins.
In the last few years my former son in-law has found himself estranged from his own family and his wife’s family are also no longer in the picture and he has 6 children (not counting my grandchildren) in his home with no family or support outside of him and his wife. Now that my grandchildren are teenagers they seek to spend more time with us and their lives have benefitted from it. We admittedly spoil them more than some would like because of the circumstances but they are wonderful children. Their father confronted me recently about his other children and how they have no extended family and are suffering seeing their siblings being spoiled. He also said we had already come between our grandchildren and their siblings because they are not close and have never asked for their siblings to be part of the extended family they have. He told me I owe it to his children to step in and give them love and some of the same spoiling. I told him I did not owe his children anything, and that I would never forgive him for what he attempted to do before. He told me I was cold hearted and callous.
Part of me wonders if he’s right because the children are innocent. And even though I have never considered them family, they are still young and have nothing to do with my former SILs actions.
Am I Wrong ?
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