Blood ties are meaningless unless you commit to making a relationship. Without effort, there is no friendship. In this story the mother assumed her children would learn to accept one another’s individuality. However, read the story and let us know what you think about this situation.
So I (49f) have 2 daughters, Tracy(23) and Caitlin (17)
Back story: Caitlin and Tracy weren’t really close when they were growing up but they got on they had the basic sisterly fights every now and then but nothing to big, Caitlin came out when she was 13 as bisexual which wasn’t really a shock to a lot of people and because of that people accepted her pretty fast, but Tracy had a few things to say about it she was very small minded about that kind of thing but after talking about it with her she agreed to keep her beliefs to herself, Caitlin started dating a girl in her class (s) A couple months after she came out this girl was the nicest person anyone can meet and she made my daughter happy which made me happy,
Fast forward a couple of years: Caitlin and S are still dating. Tracy had started dating a guy when she was 19 and after about 2 years together they got engaged Tracy always dreamed about having the perfect wedding which is in two weeks after doing last minute changes and just going over the plans she showed me the seating plan and I realised Caitlin was not on the chart I asked her about it and she said she didn’t invite her because she was scared of making the family look bad in front of her fiancés family I was taking aback by this and asked her about it and this is how it went
Me: what do you mean you don’t want the family to look bad?
T: i just don’t what them to know about her “lifestyle”
Me: there is nothing wrong with her lifestyle she is who she is
T: yeah ok whatever she isn’t invited end of story
I had so much more to say about the matter but I just tried to keep my calm without any hesitation I said “if your sister is not invited you should give my seat away to someone because I will not be coming” I grabbed my things and left all I heard as I was walking out the door was my daughter crying and begging me to come the wedding because she needed her mum there.
It’s been a few days since I have had hundreds of messages from my daughter and FSIL but I am ignoring them. After a few days I gave tracy a second chance to change her mind about it but she just started crying and calling me a bad mother. When Caitlin found out about the situation she got upset and was visibly holding back tears she said I should go and enjoy the day but even if I did go I know I will definitely not be enjoying it so that’s why I planned a mini vacation away with Caitlin. I also invited S and her family. So Am I Jerk for saying I will not attend my eldest daughters wedding and instead going on a mini vacation with my youngest?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: