Weddings are deeply personal and momentous occasions. Many people choose to spend the holiday with family and friends. Every child wants their parents to be engaged in all aspects of the wedding preparations. However, in this scenario, the bride is in a dilemma owing to her mother’s demand. Read the tale and tell us what you think she should do.
Source: Reddit
I (26f) am getting married soon. My parents (54f / 55m) split when I was super young and my step mom Halle (48f) has been in my life since I can remember. She’s basically a second mom to me and has treated me the same as my siblings (technically half siblings) even though I spent weekends with my mom.
My mother is pretty argumentative and has always disliked Halle for some reason. She explained that Halle overstepped a lot of boundaries when she came around but my dad said it was a lot of misunderstandings and feelings that got in the way. He doesn’t talk about my mom much unless I ask specific questions, my mom is the opposite and says what’s on her mind.
With my wedding coming up I planned to include Halle as one of my parents in the wedding party. I wanted to treat Halle the same as I would treat a bio parent because that’s basically what she’s been. Halle cried when I told her this and was so excited saying she can’t wait to help me pick out a dress and other things.
My dad & Halle’s wedding was like a dream and I hope mine is just like theirs. My bio parents never married & my mom told me she left him when I was super young. When I told my mom she flipped on me saying Halle is not my mother and it’s disrespectful to “downplay my real mom” by including Halle in real parent things. She said Halle has always inserted herself in real parent matters and now she’s “taking her only baby’s wedding from her” my mom started crying and begging me not to let Halle do this. I felt bad. Halle does have other children with my father and will have the chance to be in her other kids’ weddings (my sister just got engaged not long after me!) so she won’t miss out.
When I talked to Halle about this she seemed really sad but kind of played it off and said she understands and just wants me to be happy. My dad pulled me aside and said it’s my wedding but it would be really messed up to kick Halle out of the wedding when she has been a mother to me since I was a baby, which she has. I don’t know what to do. My mom is hurting but so is Halle.
Wedding dress shopping is coming up this weekend and I want Halle to be there but my mom said she won’t come if I invite her because she can’t be around Halle and watch her steal this moment. My fiancé says he thinks my mom is being petty as usual but his parents are together. He’s never had to deal with this dynamic. What are your opinions? What should I do? Can I even do anything?
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