To say the least, wedding preparation may be stressful at times. After all, planning for one of life’s most significant occasions may place a lot of worry and strain on one’s shoulders. That is why, on such an event, everyone should try to establish compromises and common ground so that everything runs as seamlessly as possible. In this story the groom wondered if they were wrong to exclude their own mother from their wedding due to her persistent and harsh comments on his fiancee’s dress choice. Scroll down to read the entire story and what would you do in such a situation.
Source: Reddit
As you can guess, I am getting married. I had proposed back in November, and I supposed now isn’t the best moment to be having a wedding, I’ll admit. But we’re still in the preparation phase, so I suppose we’re lucky.
My fiancee absolutely loves vintage dressing. Her wardrobe mostly consists of retro and historical dresses. I really like it, and while I wouldn’t really dress up like that, the way she does it is so artistic and fun, it’s become the norm for me. So ever since I proposed, she’s wanted to wear an Edwardian or early 20th century wedding dress. I told her that’s perfectly fine, and I would be more surprised if she didn’t.
Here’s where the issue arises. My mother has never been the biggest fan of my fiancee’s clothing choice. Apparently it’s because my fiancee’s choice of clothing is an indication that she doesn’t mind if women go back to being treated badly like they were back then. I don’t really understand it myself, since to me, it’s just another clothing style. I understand back then human rights weren’t at their peak, but I wouldn’t really want to live in those days. And I’m 100% certain my fiancee wouldn’t either.
So my fiance has been talking with the women of our families over wedding dress choices, and of course, my mother is involved. Ever since my fiance has announced she wants to have a vintage dress for her wedding, my mother has been a bit on edge. She’s always telling fiance she should try getting something more modern, or Dress A is better than any vintage one. My fiance hasn’t really said anything, she says it’s fine, she doesn’t wanna cause trouble.
All this came to a head when my mother came to our house with a full wedding dress in hand. I was furious, because I have no idea where in the world she even got it, and two, I have no idea where she has been to get it. When I told her she needed to leave with the dress, she got irritated and said “It’s a better option than the “grandma choices” that she’s picking.”
My fiance just stood there, while I went back and forth with my mother. My mother spewed out things like my fiancee was anti-feminist and she was poisoning the girls into thinking its okay to be treated like slaves. I told my mother to leave, and that until she apologized and stopped acting like a child, she wasn’t allowed to come to our wedding. She cried, but I managed to shut her down and kick her out with my blood pressure still in heavy breathing mode.
My fiance told me it’s fine, that I shouldn’t be souring my relationship with my mother over a dress. I’ve told her a million times before that I don’t want to hear her insulting her like that, especially over the dress that’s supposed to make her feel special. I’ve had family members calling me now, saying I need to apologize to my mother. Apparently she’s been crying and went to everyone and said I uninvited her just because she was trying to help. I know my mother, she wasn’t helping. What are your opinions? Did I over react? What should I do?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
