Source: Reddit
I (19f) don’t feel bad in the slightest, and I am very happy for her. As a matter of fact I could not be prouder, because she just saved herself years of abuse and trauma.
For years growing up, I had to endure emotional, verbal and mental abuse from him. The people around us were often easily manipulated into taking his side, so I often felt alone and cornered in my younger days. That changed when we got older, but really only for me. I learned to slam a wall against him and the things he would do to me, but very quickly when he transitioned into his older ages and became bigger and stronger, he began projecting all of those familiar jabs onto other people and our parents – the same people who quite often took his side and held him up when he was a complete mess of a human being. They had and still have hell with him sometimes (which I’ve never felt bad for because it just felt like karma coming back in my favor), but I on the other hand am actually doing pretty well for myself now that I’ve moved into my own place with my gf.
Anyway, I learned not too long ago that my brother was getting married to someone (I was the last to know because I don’t keep in contact with much of my family and don’t really care much about his life). Apparently they’d been together a good while now, maybe about 2 years. Last week I got the chance to meet her at their engagement party. I was pressured to go to my family and my gf, but really didn’t care about being there. I didn’t care about seeing him, being at his wedding or meeting whoever was insane enough to marry him and was genuinely surprised I even got invited in the first place. It’s weird because I honestly expected her to be just as sh*tty of a person as him, but to my surprise she wasn’t.
Long story short though, after a night of sh*tty speeches and pretty bomb a** food, we ended up alone somewhere in the venue to have our first conversation. According to her, my brother had “cautioned” her about me already, but she blew past that and took a chance at talking to me. She was definitely cautious when she approached me lol, but told me she wanted to know what I was really like beyond what my brother had said about me. So, we ended up talking for a while and to my surprise, it didn’t take very long for her to open up to me about the issues her and my brother had been having. I’m pretty much a stranger to her so it was a real shock to me, but apparently he’d been occupying most of her time with him (aka isolating her from most of her close friends and family) so she hadn’t had many people to talk to about her life and problems.
She was nervous about getting married to him, talked to me about his very familiar ways of being a harm to other people including her, and pretty much asked me without really saying it to give her some reassurance and let her know she was making the right decision. I let her know pretty quickly that I didn’t think it was, told her some of the things he has put the family through over the years, my past with him and his past with his other girlfriends. I didn’t make up anything about him, but honestly told her what kind of person she would be getting married to. It seemed like I had confirmed some really pressing thoughts for her, because she went from looking frightened and sad to just more disappointed by the end of our conversation that night. We exchanged numbers and I told her she could reach out to me if she needed to talk some more or blow off some more steam.
Just got the call this morning that she broke it off with him yesterday and my brother is a wreck over it. My family doesn’t know I had any communication with her that night but I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting chewed out soon.
She also sent me a long text thanking me for being there when she really needed someone. She’s moving back in with her family and feels better already about the decision she’s made, like a “weight lifted off her shoulders.” Once again, I’m happy for her. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t some satisfaction in this for me as well, but mostly, just happy for her. Did I go too far here? Please don’t be afraid to criticize. Thank you for your time in advance. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
