Source: Reddit
One of my coworkers who I had thought was friendly but that was it (he is married) sent me some inappropriate texts at like 3 am on St. Patrick’s Day weekend. Asking me to come over and “have some fun” and saying that he had been into me for a while and knew I felt the same. He also sent me a naked selfie that (luckily) cut off right before his d*ck but… Dang it was close.
When I saw them, I was out with friends and was like “What the f%^&… Ok this is a Monday problem”. I have a really strict rule with myself that I don’t do work, think about work, or answer messages about work outside of 9-5 M-F. I also don’t use my personal phone for work stuff. If someone from work calls or texts and it’s not one of the coworkers I see as a close friend and trust to not talk shop on the weekends, I’m not answering…
And I included dealing with this loser as a “workday problem” so I ignored his message. He sent me several later, first saying sorry he was drunk. Then saying he hadn’t said it how he wanted to but he was still into me and had a feeling I felt the same.
On Monday, I wrote him an email on the work email saying:
“Hi ‘Coworker’
I’m writing to follow up on your messages from the prior several days (See attached). Please only contact me through work channels during regular business hours, I do not use my personal number with colleagues. Additionally, I found the content of your messages unwelcome and inappropriate. Please only contact me regarding work. I didn’t send the email to HR but I did blind CC my personal email so I’d have a copy just in case.
And he got really mad, he texted me back saying I had crossed a line attaching his picture to a work email, was I trying to get him fired?
I screenshot that text too and attached it to an additional email saying “As per my prior email, please only contact me about work matters, and only on my business email or Slack.”
He stopped texting me but he came to my desk to speak to me and before he said anything I asked “Is this a work question?” And he said I knew what it was about, and I said that I wasn’t available for a discussion at the moment, if he did need to meet with me for a work matter, could he please schedule a meeting on the calendar and include a readahead to brief me on the topic of the meeting?
He walked off…
I feel like I went too far in dealing with it when maybe I could have told him to cut it out by text. But I’m also sick of dealing with this sh*t at every job, and I feel like my patience to use my own time and energy to gently ask guys to cool it is worn thin. And I want to set the precedent that I won’t engage at all, outside of work hours or work accounts. Am I a Jerk for sending that email?
How would you handle such a situation? any advice. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
