Having a baby and caring for a kid is a parent’s duty and responsibility, and it must be carried out with the utmost care and love. Nevertheless, in an emergency, one might seek assistance from someone they trust who they believe the child will be in safe hands. Read this story to know why this woman was upset with her mom and what would you do in such a situation.
My husband and I (32f) are first time parents to an 8-month-old son, Jack. I’ve struggled since he was born. I had a difficult pregnancy. My son had colic, and my maternity leave was short. I was diagnosed with PPD and am getting treatment.
My husband and I both have demanding jobs. I’d love to quit, but we can’t afford it right now. I don’t have many friends in the state where we live, and I’m lonely. My MIL is in poor health, and my husband is gone 2x per week helping her. I haven’t had a day or evening off since Jack was born. Plus, our home was flooded by a broken pipe 5 months ago. Handling the cleanup has been a nightmare.
My mom (67f) lives 1 hour away and has never once offered to help with anything. We’ve always had a pretty good relationship. She was a stay-at-home mom and was very loving and devoted to my brother, sister, and me. She’s an empty nester and spends her days doing yoga and seeing friends.
My mom wants to see the baby if it’s very low effort. I asked her a few times if she could babysit or run an errand, but she always says no. Once I called her at the height of my PPD sobbing, saying I was scared to be alone and could she come over. But she had brunch plans. I stopped asking for anything until today…
My best friend of 25+ years is getting married next weekend in State B, which is 2 hours away by plane. I’m the maid of honor and my husband is officiating. Children are not invited because the venue is unsafe. About 7 months ago we started looking for someone to watch Jack. We called everyone we could think of. After a month of searching, we finally found a babysitter in State B through a friend of a friend.
Well, the babysitter called on Friday and cancelled. I’ve spent the past 3 days calling childcare agencies with zero luck. I finally explained my desperation to my mom and asked if she could watch Jack for 24 hours. Or I offered to fly my mom to State B with us, get her a hotel room, and she’d then only need to watch him for 5 hours. I was in tears begging her, but my mom said no. She has a yoga class she doesn’t want to cancel.
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back after months of no empathy as I flounder with PPD. I told my mom that since she is never willing to help ever, I will be cutting off all contact and she won’t get to see her grandson. I know my mom is under no obligation to help us, but then she should not expect to see my son. Am I A Jerk for denying my mom a relationship with her grandson because she never offers to help?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: