Source: Reddit
I don’t have a problem with the idea of parents who stay home with their kids. It’s not like that. I get that childcare is expensive, and oftentimes it just makes sense.
What I have a problem with is my teenage daughter literally planning her life to only become a SAHM. As in, no college, no jobs, no certifications, nothing at all to support herself until that time might come.
I told her that it doesn’t have to be college, that not everyone needs college. But she needs to do something to start making money to put away so that, if anything goes wrong with her plan, she has a way to support herself and the potential kids.
Her feedback was that her backup plan was me and my husband — she would move in with us and go from there. We would help them survive. I told her then, what happens if we die, or we’re incapacitated? She said “I don’t know, Mom, this is ridiculous, none of it is going to happen.”
I told her bluntly that I don’t want her to become Nancy Botwin 2.0, that if something happens, she needs to have a backup plan and something behind her other than relying on other people. I emphasized that again, it does not need to be college. She can start working retail to learn customer service skills that she can carry onto doing call center work from home if need be. She can start working as a receptionist somewhere, she can do any number of things. But she says no, she’s going to plan to be a SAHM.
With that all in mind, I asked her, when she graduates high school, what is she going to do? She said “Just try to find a husband. Maybe marry someone in the military.” I asked her again, in between that time, how is she going to pay her bills? Her rent?
She said she assumed she would be living at home.
I told her no, and that she would be moving out. She could live at home if she gets a job or tries to get some kind of community college degree or certification. But if she insists on being a deadbeat loser and waiting for a man to come and rescue her, she’s on her own.
This didn’t go over well, and I am now being held up as totally unreasonable, mean, a huge bi**h, etc.
I don’t think I’m wrong at all. I want to set her up for a lifetime of success and happiness. If this wonderful man who comes and whisks her away, knocks her up, etc, gets injured or dies, I don’t want to have her come knocking at our door because she can’t afford to take care of herself. Am I A Jerk ?
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