Story by Emma Heaphy
Mama, I know you’re tired. I know you’re sick of being tired. I know you’re sick of saying you’re tired. But that’s just the way it is right now. You know this.
If your baby’s tired, you’re tired. Because if they’re not getting sleep, neither are you. Because they are completely dependent on you. Because you are their lifeline.
And what a privilege it is to be that for someone. And how amazing it is that someone literally needs every part of you to keep going. And you wouldn’t trade the sleepless nights not to be this for them. Not ever! Because they are everything in the world to you. They are a privilege in all forms. They are your privilege.
But it’s tiring. And if it’s night after night it can be nauseating. And the days after days that follow the nights after nights can leave you feeling like you’re going to faint in moments of need, Which is often. Because you are so needed. Never in your life have you been so needed. And never again will you be so needed.
But it’s more than just the tired. It’s everything that comes with the tired. Because tiredness breeds a lot of unhelpful traits. Like forgetfulness, irritability, frustration, sadness and overwhelm. Everything small seems so big. And nothing big ever feels small. And that’s hard. On them and on anyone else sharing the load with you, where they can, if they can, if your child will let them.
But it’s the hardest on you. It really is. Because right now you are wearing layers on layers of tired. Because right now you are giving absolutely everything to those who need everything from you, even when anything is the only option. Because right now you muddle your way through to the end of the day and then carry on into the night. Over and over. Again and again.
And I’m just here to remind you that it’s not just you. I can hardly keep my eyes open right now. I’m absolutely exhausted from being exhausted. And it’s so hard some days, most days, all day when you feel like this.
But thankfully there are layers on layers of love too. The layers that cover the tired and uncover our resilience. They’re the layers that keep us going. Keep going x
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