Different individuals nurture their children in different ways, and as long as they aren’t breaking the law or abusing them, it’s widely assumed that you shouldn’t become involved in trying to raise them in any specific manner, even if you disagree with some of the more subtle choices parents make. Each parent has their way of parenting. Read to know what happened in this story and let us know whose side you are on.
Source: Mumsnet
We have close friends whose house we eat at, or they eat at ours, fairly often. They have different expectations at dinner time for their kids than I do – they enforce a very strict ‘clear your plate or no pudding’ rule, I don’t do this.
When dd is at their house, their rule applies. Generally I would agree – their house, their rule but there have been quite a few times recently when she’s become very upset at being forced to eat a whole plate full of food she doesn’t want with the threat of no pudding hanging over her (she’s 6 and loves pudding). Friend or her DH are very firm with all the kids that they have to eat everything and they follow through with the threat of no pudding. It’s gotten to the point where I’m finding reasons not to go there to eat because dd is so anxious about it.
What is bothering me a lot about this situation is when they come to eat at ours, they try to enforce the same rule. I took friend aside this evening and told her that I don’t generally make dd clear her plate and explained why – she said fair enough but for the sake of making everything fair to her kids when they’re all eating together the rule has to apply – it’s not fair her kids have to do this while mine don’t.
I take things on a case by case basis – I generally know what dd had eaten in the day and so know she’s had a roughly balanced diet so if she doesn’t want to finish a whole plate of food, and presuming she’s eaten (what I consider to be) enough, then she’s allowed to leave what she doesn’t want and still have pudding. I also don’t want to force her to eat or use pudding as a reward.
Am I Being Unreasonable to put my foot down and say dd doesn’t have to clear her plate to have pudding? In my own house?! Or when at restaurants? In their house, ok I guess. But if I’m following their rules in their home surely they should return the gesture when in my house?!
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
