Story by Mik Taylor
For years, my husband and I worked with youth through our nonprofit outreach program. We’d witnessed the latchkey kids, those with food insecurity and those who had been abandoned and neglected.
We noticed there was a need for more involvement. We knew the statistics and the outcome for these kids especially young black boys. We were fully aware of how little brown children are disproportionately represented in the foster care system. We knew that we wanted to do more, we had the extra room in our home so we decided to help. We took the necessary steps and became licensed foster parents.
We waited by the phone ready to open our hearts and home to a child. We received our first placement a sweet baby boy but we felt a tugging in our hearts to do more. Six months later we received a call for a little boy, a kindergartner. We would be his second placement a disruption is what it was called. After two years, his foster grandmother was calling it quits she could no longer care for him. So where would this little boy, this little dimple faced, high pitched cartoon character voice kid go?
His caseworker had already called three other homes and was desperate to place him. He needed somewhere to go he needed a home. He was a cutie but let’s face it before long it would be hard to place him. From the very beginning, his worker made it known she had no time to waste on his case. It was made clear we needed to hurry and decide if we wanted to adopt him or she would try to find another family that would. We knew that black males were hard to place especially the older they got. We understood her plight and his so…we said yes.
There was truly something special about him. Aside from being adorable he had so much potential. His previous foster grandmother had done an phenomenal job of making sure he was on task academically. However, the next few months would prove themselves to be challenging. We now had two placements two little boys equalling two cases, two caseworkers, double the doctors appointments, court dates, therapy sessions you name it. Nevertheless, he was home and he’d made himself home. He wanted permanency and we did too. He wanted answers and we did too.
The questions kept coming “Will I be moving again.” Will I see my family again?” Questions no kindergartner should be asking. This was just the beginning this was the initial “honeymoon period”. This was the testing of our dedication to him to see whether or not we were truly all in. Parenting is hard and parenting children from hard places can sometimes be harder. Yet, this little kid with the politician smile and the biggest heart had won us over. One week in and he was already calling my husband “dad.” It would take awhile for him to come around to calling me mom and I was ok with that. We were slowly peeling back the layers attempting to undo and unlearn and replace what was missing.
We were told in our classes that “our love would not be enough” and this proved true. In spite of it all, wholeness and healing were taking place and we were slowly becoming a family.
Six months later we were told he was free for adoption. It was a pretty open and shut case. There were no major hurdles to climb no obstacles before us it seemed more so like a relief for the system. We were all ready for this day and ten months after coming into our home Dwayne was finally adopted. There would be no more disruptions for him no more moving.
That was four years ago but it seems like yesterday. Dwayne, the little kid who needed a home had finally found his place. Today, Dwayne is a thriving fourth grade middle schooler, an avid reader excelling far beyond the statistics beyond the negative expectations.
I’d tell any prospective foster parents to consider opening their homes to not just babies, toddlers but to middle age adolescents and teens. Please consider those kids who are often looked over and rather than looking at what you currently try fostering love into that child’s future. What matters most is the love and resilience that resides in the heart of these children.
You can follow their journey on: Instagram
