Source: Reddit
I (f30) have been with my bf (m33) for a little over a year (16 months). Bf has 4 children (12m, 7f, 7f, 5m) from a previous relationship. I met the children around our 7th month dating after meeting their mom around month 5. Bio mom and I get along well. I understand her concerns of being replaced and assured her I’m not trying to take her place in any way.
On to the situation. About 3 months ago I received an invitation to the wedding of a friend. I was allotted a +1 and naturally invited my bf. We discussed the theme of the wedding (cannabis wedding), transportation (open bar) and a few other details. I also discussed these plans with my bff (f31) incase there was an emergency (she is my support system as I am LC with my family).
Fast forward to the big day. After spending months discussing plans, bf shows up to pick me up for the wedding…with his four children in the backseats. I look at him with a confused look and ask him what’s going on. Him- what do you mean Me- why are the kids in the car, did you forget you were picking me up for the wedding today Him- I didn’t forget, I just thought this would be a good family outing. At this point, my mind is blown and I am frustrated. I asked him why he thought that, seeing as how we discussed the plans. He said it’s not a big deal, they’ll only be attending the ceremony. I inform him that my invite is for me and my +1, and not a +5. And besides, nothing about this event is appropriate for children.
He then says “ok, we can skip the wedding and just have a family day”. I told him absolutely not and that his bad decision making was not going to be my problem. Sent him on his way, called my bff and 2hrs later we attended the beautiful ceremony. Bf sees this on Snapchat and goes ballistic on me. How could I go without him, how could I replace him, how his children felt rejected, how I should’ve skipped the wedding for a family day. I waited until he ran out of steam and calmly told him that he made these choices. We had plans and he chose to try and change them last minute. That his changes were inappropriate and also not my problem. He called me an a&%^ole and is refusing to speak to me until I apologize to him and his children. He also wants an apology from my bff for attending the wedding in his place.
UPDATE: Finally, I talked to my bf. I showed up at his house this morning at 5am because the silence was driving me insane (he works overnight and gets off at 4am so I knew he was up) and we discussed the situation and he did apologize. Apparently he spoke to his children’s mother and she ripped him a new one. She did text me this morning (I don’t think she thought I was up) to try and help his case. Informed me that he didn’t really grow up going to social events and the only wedding he’s ever been to was family.
Apparently they just show up with friends and family (whatever that means). She also thanked me for having common sense and not taking her children to a “f^%&*ng weed wedding”and if she had known she would’ve switched weekends with him or came with me herself lol. She told me to call her next time something like this happens. I just told her not to worry about it. Anyway, the conversation was productive. After he apologized he explained that his babysitter (his sister) fell through (she tested positive for the Vid) and he didn’t know what else to do. He said he understood where he went wrong but was too embarrassed to admit this to me.
This was the🚩🚩🚩 for me. I told him that I understood what happened and wished he had just talked to me. He told me it wouldn’t happen again. I told him that he was correct, it won’t happen again because this would be our last conversation. 4 days of not speaking really spoke volumes and the fact that he was too prideful to admit his faults didn’t sit well with me. I told him it really didn’t matter at this point and he accused me of not considering his feelings. Didn’t say goodbye, just walked out and blocked him once I got to my car. My brain started to hurt at the thought of continuing the conversation let alone the relationship. Just wanted to let y’all know that I handled it the way it needed to be handled.
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