Not all are fortunate to have a good honest mother-in-law. At times mother-in-laws can be a source of toxicity. Existing with a bad mother-in-law can be tough in daily life. (This story was sent to us by Brianna).
Source: Reddit
My husband and I are both in our early 30’s now, but were high school sweethearts. We met when we were 13 and were best friends for a few years before we started dating. We had a tight knit group of friends and hung out as a group all the time. My husband had a traumatic childhood and was neglected growing up. In high school, we both worked and would buy his necessities, but so would my own parents.
My mom even took him to an optometrist and got him the glasses he desperately needed. My MIL was always very odd, but as soon as we started dating, her hatred for me became known and I can honestly say with a clear conscience that even when I was treated badly, I was still respectful and quiet towards her.
She’s very religious, and twice as a teenager, my husband (obviously at the time my boyfriend) would be hanging out at my house and when it was time for him to go home I would be “invited” over for dinner. I would walk in to his house to find chairs set up in a circle around the living room and people from her church would be waiting for us. They would ask why I was taking her son away from her and how could we be comfortable living in sin together. IT WAS CRAZY GUYS. I wish I was making this up.
When we turned 18, he moved in with me and my family, while we attended college and worked. We moved into our own apartment and got married a few years later. His entire side of the family refused to come to our wedding because she bad mouthed me so badly. His older and younger sister loved me though, and were in my bridal party. They have always accepted me and loved me and agreed with my husband that my MIL was just crazy and this is how things always were with her.
I was pregnant a few months after our wedding and would get phone calls from his grandmother and aunt saying I was a disgusting human being for taking away their grandson and nephew. I was so stressed all of the time and would cry to my husband that I was sorry his family felt that way. It truly broke my heart to be so hated. They only hated me because my MIL constantly bad talked me.
They refused to come to our baby shower. My husband put his foot down, called his mother, grandmother and aunt and told them if they couldn’t accept me, they would get none of us. They said that was fine. They didn’t speak to us for three years. We ran into my MIL one day while we were out when our daughter was three years old and MIL cried when she saw her. Explained she’s been going to therapy and has gotten help. We believed her and gave her a chance. We allowed her to have supervised visits with our daughter and had a weekly dinner.
A year later, my husband and I adopted two sweet little boys, both born drug addicted and with special needs. A few years into this, through lots of therapy and developmental appointments, we find out they had Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and our older son was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder as well as Oppositional Defiance Disorder. This past January my husband and I were approached by two different people letting us know that my MIL had been talking sh** about our children and she even told them that if I was a better mother, my son wouldn’t have any of these diagnoses.
I lost it. I broke down. For the first time in 15 years of us being together I confronted her. I told her that I was her daughter in law and the mother of her grandchildren and no longer would she speak against me or my children ever again. She didn’t apologize, but agreed with me. Later that night, my sister in law calls me and says that her mom was running around the house speaking to herself and throwing things.
My husband went over there and my MIL explained to him that she was a drug addict and she only spoke badly of me and her grandchildren because she was both high and drunk. She said she’s addicted to ambien. My husband and sister in law told her she couldn’t be addicted to that. She said she was also high on oxycodone. My husband and sister in laws pleaded with her to get mental health help.
They knew she was lying about being an addict. The following day, she checked herself into a rehab facility and had my husband down as her point of contact for the facility. Days later my husband got a phone call that they did a full blood test and found absolutely nothing in her system. She was embarrassed she got caught lying and tried to check herself out, but they offered her mental health services.
Now, she has a few people from the drug rehab she was in, calling her “mom” and always posting on her Facebook wall about how she’s the greatest mom they ever had. I got a Facebook message from one of them a few minutes ago. They asked me why I took her children away from her.🙃 If you read this far, thanks. She’s put me through a lot more and I could honestly write a novel about it.
What is your opinion? Is the mother doing the right thing of keeping the children away from their grandmother? And how would you handle the situation?
