Every relationship has its ups and downs. Each couple has their own conflicts. However in this story a girlfriend feels guilty as her boyfriend was upset and accused her for her behaviour. Read the story and let us know what the girlfriend should do.
While spending the night my boyfriend will sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night and say his feet are swelling due to an allergen in my room. We have been dating for a year and this has been going on for five months, prior to five months ago this did not happen.
In order to accommodate his allergy, I have had my carpets professionally cleaned five times, purchased all new bedding, purchased air filters, purchased a new couch for my living room, and most recently had hardwood floors put in to replace the carpeted rooms. My boyfriend owns a house with his ex-girlfriend, who he is still living with, so going to his house is not an option. When his feet swell it is in the middle of the night, he wakes me up, and usually, he will then leave. It’s almost always dramatic and can take anywhere from 5 minutes to two hours before he decides he is going home. I have a demanding job as a director of multiple programs and I have told him I cannot be woken up in the middle of the night, it negatively impacts my ability to work.
Since getting the hardwood floors put in a couple of weeks ago his allergies have subsided. A couple of days ago he wanted to spend the night and asked if I could pick him up because he was having car issues, he lives 40 minutes away. That night I took Nyquil and put in earplugs because I had an important meeting in the morning and could not risk not getting sleep. Side note, my nine-year-old had fallen asleep on the couch while we were watching a movie.
That night around 2 a.m. I woke up to him making loud noises, opening and shutting my windows and doors. I ignored it, he got louder, and then told me his feet were swelling, I told him I would move my nine-year-old to her room and he could sleep on the couch. He said no. I told him he could sleep in my nine-year-olds room, he said no. He said he might sleep in my car. I fell back asleep, I did not offer to drive him home.
When I woke the next morning there was a string of texts throughout the night asking to be driven home as soon as possible. He had slept in my car, I didn’t want to wake him so I poured a cup of coffee and started getting ready for work–I sent him a text that I would take him home as soon as I got dressed. I heard the car turn on, so I went out to the garage.
He was angry and accused me of just letting him stay in the car while I was drinking coffee. He then started accusing me of purposefully letting allergens in my room. He said my behaviors prove that I do not care about his allergies and he was done spending the night because I made it impossible for him to do so. He said my behaviors prove I do not care about him, and that if I did I would make sure my room would be allergen-free for him. Am I the Jerk?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: