Birthdays are a time to celebrate. Nobody ever wants to make a youngster feel excluded, especially during birthday parties. Read the story and let us know how you would deal in such a situation.
My daughter is turning 7, and we’re going to a movie and pizza for her party. At her school the policy is all boys/girls or the whole class. Some parents have gone around that but I don’t like that whole dynamic so I’m making her stick to the school guidelines. She wants to invite her whole class.
Here’s where I might have messed up. When we were writing out the invitations, my daughter asked me if we had to invite “Avery”. Avery has autism and something else, and she’s barely verbal, very hyperactive, and isn’t potty trained. My daughter comes home with a story about something this kid did easily twice a week. She said she doesn’t want everyone paying attention to Avery “like they always do at school.” I thought about it and decided my daughter doesn’t have to invite her. I have nothing against the girl, but I respect my daughter’s choice.
Well, apparently one of the other parents is friends with Avery’s mom, and she complained to me when she said Avery didn’t get an invitation. I told the other parent it wasn’t malicious but I do want my daughter to be able to enjoy her birthday party without having to always be “inclusive.” She must have passed this on because the girl’s mom messaged me and said “thanks for reminding us yet again that we don’t get invited to things.” I apologized but I stood firm.
I really don’t want to make my daughter miserable at her own birthday party, especially since she didn’t even get a party last year thanks to the pandemic. But after the backlash I got I have to wonder if I’m somehow missing a chance to teach my daughter not to discriminate. So Am I A Jerk?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: