My (25M) girlfriend, Molly (26F) for the last… 6 months started with a joke that I’ve already made clear that I don’t like. It consists of her saying “No” quickly to anything I ask.
I know it sounds silly, but I ask her to get a glass of water for me, she says no and after 1 minute, I’m almost getting up, she says she’s joking and gets some water. I ask her to wash the dishes, she says no…. I say I LOVE YOU, she says no… I ask her to take her clothes, she says no. Everything is joking and after 30s/1min, she does it, but she is “addicted” to doing it.
I’ve already made it clear several times that I don’t like it, even more so in I LOVE YOU (she’s the only person I can say that, so it’s special to me). And there are things that are serious and I need her to answer seriously. And if she says no to everything jokingly, I can’t tell when she’s saying a real no (it’s already happened).
I keep saying this is boring and I don’t like it, she stops doing it and goes back to doing it after a week. After a brief discussion because she played this prank in front of our friends (Me asking “love, can you get me some medicine?” and she with No kidding), she stopped doing it for 1 month.
Yesterday, we welcomed my parents, in-laws and our 2 best friends to our house. Everyone knew that I was going to propose to her and I called them, because we always planned this proposal with our loved ones attending, participating in this special day.
I asked her to marry me and she said a quick NO and I was so grumpy/panicked/upset (everyone looking in shock) for 30s for her to laugh and say she was joking, finally saying YES.
I was so embarrassed and…disappointed? I put the ring box back in and said I’d take it out to cool off. I didn’t even let her say anything.
She kept texting me (no answering calls), saying it was just a joke and that I knew she always did that. She said that I left a difficult situation in the house because it was very clear that I had given up on the proposal and did it in front of my parents and in-laws. She stressed that I was making the situation uncomfortable because of a silly joke.
Well, I slept in a hotel and I’m still in it.
My parents supported me, but my in-laws called me AH for giving up on proposing, disproportionately humiliating their daughter.
I just really think there’s time for jokes and that moment wasn’t clearly, she knew I didn’t like it and decided to do it anyway. Am I A Jerk ?
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