Connecting with your partner’s family is one of the many challenging emotional aspects that come with falling in love and starting a family. Setting limits with your own family is challenging enough, but when it comes to your mother-in-law, you also need to strike a balance between safeguarding your own feelings and taking your spouse’s needs into account. If left unattended, this can result in tense ongoing situations that only become worse over time.
I have two children, a 7 year old and a 5 month old baby – they don’t have the same dad, my husband has been involved in my eldest child’s life for 6 years and 5 months, he sees my eldest as his child.
MIL has told me several times before I got pregnant again – she isn’t grandma to the eldest child, she’s disgusted that my son sees “it” as his child, husband often tries to calm the situation before we argue.
Despite how much I don’t want her around she is my husband’s mother, so we meet while my eldest is at school.
Well we were talking recently about the newborn and she said “oh I can’t wait for a name to call me grandma!”
I can see her point that my eldest and her aren’t biologically related and she’s old fashioned but I can also see that this is a child and she should be willing to overlook her “views”
Husband is upset with me because I told her she isn’t grandma, she has no right to see this one as her grandchild but not my eldest who’s been in her life since she was 9 months old. She’s genuinely upset about this. I need some advice on if I’m wrong.
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