Mother Ask If She Is A Jerk To Cut Off MIL For Not Accepting Child From Past Relationship

Connecting with your partner’s family is one of the many challenging emotional aspects that come with falling in love and starting a family. Setting limits with your own family is challenging enough, but when it comes to your mother-in-law, you also need to strike a balance between safeguarding your own feelings and taking your spouse’s needs into account. If left unattended, this can result in tense ongoing situations that only become worse over time.

Source: Reddit

I have two children, a 7 year old and a 5 month old baby – they don’t have the same dad, my husband has been involved in my eldest child’s life for 6 years and 5 months, he sees my eldest as his child.

MIL has told me several times before I got pregnant again – she isn’t grandma to the eldest child, she’s disgusted that my son sees “it” as his child, husband often tries to calm the situation before we argue.

Despite how much I don’t want her around she is my husband’s mother, so we meet while my eldest is at school.

Well we were talking recently about the newborn and she said “oh I can’t wait for a name to call me grandma!”

I can see her point that my eldest and her aren’t biologically related and she’s old fashioned but I can also see that this is a child and she should be willing to overlook her “views”

Husband is upset with me because I told her she isn’t grandma, she has no right to see this one as her grandchild but not my eldest who’s been in her life since she was 9 months old. She’s genuinely upset about this. I need some advice on if I’m wrong. 

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