Source: Reddit
I have been so careful about not having weight-talk in my house. I don’t equate weight with beauty, and I’ve made sure she sees beauty in people of all shapes and sizes. I don’t talk about health in terms of weight, but in terms of using exercise and a balanced diet to keep our bodies strong (“exercise keeps our heart, lungs, and muscles strong”, “milk keeps our bones strong”, “oranges help our bodies fight off sickness”, etc).
So when my daughter came home from her dad’s place and only ate half her dinner because she didn’t want to eat too much, I was suspicious. As it turns out, my ex’s fiancée told her she was getting pudgy and should eat less so she doesn’t look fat in front of everyone when she’s a flower girl at their upcoming wedding. She even asked her “don’t you want to look beautiful in your dress?”
Great. So she’s not only told my 7 year old daughter that her perfectly healthy and normal body is pudgy, but that her body type is not beautiful and shouldn’t be seen by others. After how careful I’ve been to avoid this kind of talk, all it took was a couple of offhand comments to make her decide to halve her food intake. She ultimately did eat the rest of her food after I talked to her about it.
I was too furious to have a calm conversation with my ex’s fiancée this evening, but I’m going to have a stern word with her tomorrow. I’m concerned about how irresponsible she is, to try and instill body insecurity in such a young child and to encourage her to eat less when her body needs that food to grow. My daughter will be bombarded with the message that being stick thin is the only way to be beautiful for her entire life, it’s up to the adults around her to actively challenge that message, not reinforce it.
Edit: I’m not responding to “but is she fat?” comments anymore because I’ve addressed it multiple times in the comments (she’s not) and it has absolutely no bearing on the fact that instead of having a conversation with me about her concerns my ex’s fiancée decided to call a little girl pudgy to her face and encourage her to eat less in order to look good at a wedding.
