Weddings are one of life’s most beautiful events. It is a moment of great excitement, worry, and a wide range of mixed emotions. A bride and groom, on the other hand, always desire to appear their best during their own wedding and wish for distinctive greatest wedding images. But what if the photographer falls ill and was unable to make it to the occasion? Read the story to know what happened in this wedding and let us know how you would handle the situation.
Source: Reddit
I, Aila (26/F) was set to be a bridesmaid in my friend Deidre’s (26/F) wedding. She had five bridesmaids in total including me. We met in high school and moved back to our mutual hometown a few years later. I’m 6’1″ and my nickname has always been “Big Bird,” while the other girls and Diedre are about 5’4″ to 5’6″ or so. I have a Nikon DSLR and have always liked to casually take pictures for my social media, which I did of all of us in the time leading up to the wedding.
The day of the wedding, the paid photographer Jenny was on-site at Diedre’s massive church but was sick. She said she’d eaten something that didn’t agree with her, that she could power through, and she’d done COVID tests so it wasn’t that, but ultimately she had to leave. Shortly after she left and before we were supposed to head toward the sanctuary, Diedre asked me to walk around the perimeter of the church to make sure that the entrances were all labeled and that no one was lost, so I did that in my dress and tennis shoes and made it back in about 15 minutes. By the time I got back into the bridal suite it was nearly time to head into the foyer. As I walked in everyone was quiet and staring at me. Diedre’s fiance’s sister Ashley, who hadn’t been sure if she could make the wedding, was there as well.
Diedre said that since Jenny was gone they didn’t have a wedding photographer. She wanted me to give my bridesmaid dress to Ashley and take photos with my Nikon, since no one wanted to just have pictures on their iphones. Everybody swarmed me and started helping me out of my dress, pulling the rhinestone combs out of my hair, and Diedre took back the bridesmaid gift of the matching Tiffany bracelet we were wearing during the wedding to put on Ashley. Everyone said that this was a “much better plan” and started hyping up my photography skills. They were also saying this would be great because the wedding party would look uniform now, and the moms were saying that it would be great to include all the “family girls” as bridesmaids. Diedre said that I would be able to eat after everyone else and that she wasn’t sure where Ashley had been sitting for dinner, but it wouldn’t matter because I wouldn’t need to sit down anyway.
This was all very rushed and I didn’t have time to think, but I was immediately pretty hurt by the demand that I be responsible for not only the wedding photography for free, but that everyone was implying that I’d make pictures look weird if I was in them, and that I’d be okay with not having a seat at all or the chance to eat. I told Diedre that I wasn’t a professional photographer and that I didn’t know what I was doing, but she just kept saying “You’ll do great” and “I’m sure it’ll be good.” While everyone continued to get ready, I packed up all my stuff, said that I had to take it out to my car, then drove home. Am I A Jerk?
UPDATE
Hi everyone, thank you for weighing in, I’m reading through all your comments and wanted to answer some of the most common questions I’ve seen so I’ll use this as an update and to answer your questions. I was trying not to include too much information in my post but I think I should include more:
The dress was a midi length dress from David’s Bridal with no tailoring. The top had adjustable spaghetti straps, and it was cinched in with a rhinestone belt. Ashley and I are very close to the same size so the dress okay for her to wear. I paid $120 for the dress, Diedre bought the accessories, and I was wearing ballet flats I already owned. I also paid for a wedding gift, bridal shower gift, and her drinks at various points, so I would estimate my costs at $500. We did our own hair and makeup at the church. The Tiffany bracelets were some of the $300 ones. I logically understand why she took mine off (they’re relatively distinctive and meant to match in the photos), but it still stung.
Jenny was there for a period of time and so she should be able to send them the professional photos of us getting ready. But I personally watched her getting sweatier, so I suspect her having to leave (even though I didn’t witness it) was genuine and urgent. I don’t think that Diedre (whose alias I should have chosen better due to me spelling it differently every time) dismissed her. I do now think that she asked me to check around the church as a way of getting me off by myself, since Jenny had already left at that point and she’d had time to think about what to do.
Because of where the bridal suite was positioned, few people were parked over there and I have a car with a distinctive color that had been parked right up by it. So I suspect no one messaged me in alarm because they looked out and immediately realized I’d just left, and I suspect that they’re not going to message me and ask if they can get the few pictures I’d already snapped either.
A lot of people are telling me to take Diedre to court, but that just isn’t in my nature. I would really prefer not to stir things up with her but have been watching social media, which they haven’t blocked me on. I posted here because I saw a couple of vaguely-snarky comments from Diedre’s mother-in-law about how they couldn’t get a photographer to stay but they made do. The only message I’ve gotten directly has been one of the other bridesmaids asking me if I’d gotten any pictures at all, and I just ignored it. But I’ve been turning this over in my mind and wondering if I’m the AH for bailing, so I posted here.
The last thing I want to clarify is that people have been comparing this to the scene in Cinderella. It certainly didn’t feel good, but at the moment I was in problem-solving mode because this was being presented to me as a last-minute problem that I needed to help solve. Everyone was talking like we were collaborating on this great thing while quickly getting all of my items off and onto Ashley. I had worn a black velour track suit and a t-shirt to the church, so she wasn’t literally telling me to walk around in my underwear, but still.
