Source: Reddit
Me (f33) and my husband Chris (m36) planned a one week vacation to an out of state ski resort with our 2 kids. His cousin Martin (m38) lost his wife to cancer 6 months ago. She left behind 2 kids nearly the same age as my kids (6 &9). My husband is devastated by his best friend’s loss, (they’re so close that he sees him as a friend) understandably so. He tries to help Martin and the kids. But in my opinion? He’s been doing a little too much for them lately.
He suggested we take Martin’s kids with us to the resort to get their mind off the grief a bit. I apologized and said it won’t wouldn’t since we barely have a budget to cover for our kids. He insisted then tried offering compromises but I still said it wouldn’t work. He was obviously pissed but dropped it eventually.
2 days before the trip, I found out that my husband booked two tickets for Martin’s kids instead of our own kids. I was the one paying but he insisted on handling thd booking and making reservations. I was stunned…I called him out on it and he apologetically talked about how Martin needs some alone time away from the kids, how the kids need a breather, and how they need this vacation more than our kids do. I flipped out at him asking if he was seriously ok with prioritizing others’:kids over his own. He said it wasn’t about priorities but doing what’s needed to help those kids out. I asked how his own kids would react once they found out but he said “I’m sure they’d understand”. I said no and decided to cancel the vacation altogether. He freaked out on me saying I can’t do that and made him look small in front of his cousin and family since they praised him for this “nice gesture”. I refused to negotiate it but he called me horribly selfish and cruel towards grieving kids and said that he’ll make sure our own kids know how I’m behaving towards the other kids by robbing them of the fun they so much need and deserve.
We haven’t been talking and he’s so pissed and keeps throwing a fit after a fit about it. Claiming I ruined it for everybody when I cancelled.
I feel bad for the kids, I do but I don’t think what he did was right. Am I A Jerk for cancelling?
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