There are several methods to become involved, as well as numerous rituals associated with the act. A ring for one or both persons involved is normally part of the experience for most individuals. One lady recently stated that she and her boyfriend are hoping to be engaged soon, and she’s fairly happy about virtually everything about it. The only thing she isn’t thrilled about is his mother’s desire for him to propose using her original engagement diamond and the wife is very opposed to the concept.
Source: Reddit
I (F26) have been with my boyfriend ADAM (M30) for 4 years. I’m not too close to his family but was close to my former sil (brother inlaw’s now ex wife)
My Future mother in law gave her engagement ring to my bil to propose to sil with 3 years ago. It’s an important tradition in the family to pass down the ring and since they have no daughters/sisters then the ring went to bil’s ex wife. After the separation my bil got the ring back and decided to focus on his kids. now since everyone knows that Adam and I are planning to make our relationship official and pursue marriage which is our goal, His mother suggested he propose with her engagement ring that my bil already proposed with to his now ex as mentioned above.
Adam was excited with the idea but I was uncomfortable solely by the fact that this ring was proposed with more than once and also it belonged to my former sil for years and she had memories attached to it. I feel like that ring already has more than one love story and I feel I have the right to wear a ring that represents our relationship and one that belongs to me and Adam.
Future mil wasn’t happy with my opinion and invited me to the church where she hangs out most of the time to talk and explained that it’s a must for Adam as the youngest to carry the tradition and propose with this ring and it was disrespectful of me to not want it or have an issue with it since it’s of high sentimental value. I explained why I had an issue with it but she implied I clearly wanted a “more shiny and expensive one”.
After basically shaming & wearing me down for hours about it I flatout told her that is between me and Adam but he agreed with her and said my logic doesn’t make sense and asked if I’d refuse to buy an apartment just because someone else owned it. but an apartment is different from an engagement which in my opinion…should be a symbol of our love but my statement was met with a “I don’t get it. Do you really think a ring is more important than us being on the same page and understanding each other? Besides, that’s what my mom wants and to be completely honest with you here, I’m just trying to keep the peace and stay on her good side which is what you should be doing TOO right now instead of already starting an unnecessary drama and setting a bad tone for your relationship with mom”.
I asked why he thought his mom’s opinion was equal or more important than mine and he got offended and said I was insulting his mom and he won’t let me do that next time. He refused to discuss it any further saying this was a ridiculous hill for me to choose to die on and should be honored to be given the opportunity to hold on to something as valuable as his mom’s engagement ring.
Would you be mad in her position? What should I do?
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