Any couple that gets married will find it challenging, particularly if their relationship undergoes an unexpected twist. Suppose you marry someone and decide not to have children. Then, out of nowhere, your spouse tells you they are expecting a kid, leaving you in charge of raising the child. Such is the case in this story. Read the story and let us know how you would behave.
My sister is 30 and is married to a man who she, and our family, love. They’ve said they wanted to be “child free” since they met 4 years ago. They had a nice life, where they both worked, had a dog, nice house, etc.
About a year ago, he found out that he had a son. The mother was an acquaintance he slept with 6 years ago, who had never told him about him. She passed away, and her elderly mother has too many health issues for her to have custody. So he went to live with them.
He’s an amazing little kid, and our family has grown to love him too. So we were all shocked a month ago when my sister said her and him were going to separate – she said she loves her husband, but she can’t take being a stepmother anymore, and that everything from not being able to watch adult shows at all hours of the day to asking him to do his homework makes her miserable.
Her husband is absolutely devastated, as they have always had a happy marriage and still love each other – she’ll be the first one to say this. He didn’t want children either, but understands he’s the only parent this boy has now. I also found out that this little boy is taking the fact that she’s moving out and taking their dog (she was hers originally) very hard, no doubt due to the loss he’s already experienced, and I felt devastated by that.
When we were at our parent’s house last weekend, I asked to talk to her and after some back and forth, I told my sister it seemed wrong and selfish to hurt not only her husband but also her step son this way, after not even a full year of trying to make it work. She didn’t take that well and hasn’t spoken to me since. Essentially she said she’s never wanted children and wants no part of raising one, and that I have no right to call her wrong or selfish over that.
My family seems to agree with me on this, but my mom is very upset that my sister is furious with me and the family members that agree with me. Am I a jerk? What are your opinions?
What do you think about this situation? Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: