Marriage is one of the most beautiful phases in one’s life. Marriage is more than simply a union between two individuals who have agreed to share commitments and limitations with love and without any conditions. Their families are also involved, for better or bad. Not all are lucky to have mother-in-laws that genuinely mean good for her son and his wife. Read the story and help the wife who is disturbed by her mother-in-law’s action.
My husband (30) and I (31) have just bought our first house together, we’re loving it and we’re excited to decorate it together. Unfortunately my husband travels a lot for work and we’ve already had new furniture orders arrive but I couldn’t do it all myself. My MIL (mother in law) offered to help and I agreed.
Yesterday, I got back from work at 8 and was shocked to see one of the wall was full of framed pictures that mil put there, that is not the main problem because these pictures were from his childhood, graduation, birthdays and then I saw the biggest framed picture of them all and is him and his ex on their wedding day
(context: MIL “adores” my husband’s ex, she brings her up all the time and reminces about the past years with her. not only that but she includes her in events and holidays which caused issues between us)
I lashed out at mil asking what the hell she put that picture on the wall for and how she thought it was an appropriate thing to do. I told her to take it down in that instance but she was defensive and said “this is part of Derek’s life and you can not erase it”. Then went on about how many hours she spent working on this wall and how I should try to be a little bit more appreciative.
I lost my cool and flipped out on her, I took a share and removed the picture. She started arguing with me asking what’s wrong with me and calling me crazy. I told her to take the picture and leave but she tried to say that it wasn’t just the ex in that picture but my husband as well but I told her I’d throw it out if she won’t leave.
She left but started texting me saying stuff like jealous, bitter, overbearing, controlling etc. I responded telling her she disrespected me in my own home by what she did and proceeded to ban her from the house.
She called my husband and forwarded a screenshot of the “ban”. He called me and we talked. He then said his mom ought to know better but she didn’t and I was right to be angry but banning her from the house was an overreaction – like a crazy overreaction. He tried to get me to call her and cancel the ban but I refused. He then ranted about how unfair I was being to make such a decision when it’s our house not just mine.
Conversation got nowhere and am now waiting for him to get home to talk. My inlaws are upset with me saying I went overboard with this reaction and urged me to let mil back into the house and drop this whole thing like it never happened. What do you think about my decision?
How would you react in her position?