I recently kicked my sister out of our home for the way she reacted to a photo of my husband & his first wife.
I met him a few months after she died in a car accident, and got married 2 years after that. We’ve been together for 6 years.
He was devastated when she died. I told him I never expected to “replace” her in any way & considered myself another chapter in his life. I was warmly accepted into the family and his circle of friends.
My sister recently fell on hard times – lost her job, apartment, and so on. We took her in.
My husband has always had a home office. My sister was poking around the house when he was out, and discovered a photo of him & his first wife among the framed pictures he has. It’s not their wedding photo or anything, just a typical cute couple photo. It’s the only printed photo of her in the house, taken a few months before her accident. They didn’t have kids, so pics are all he has.
There are a lot more photos of us.
I was reading on the couch when my sister came stomping into the room, holding the framed photo.
She angrily asked “Why do you let him keep a photo of his ex in your house?”
I replied: “First, it’s our house, & second she’s not an ex. She died in an accident and was his wife for 8 years. She was a huge part of his life. He keeps that one photo out.”
She replied “An ex is anyone you’ve slept with who’s not in the picture anymore.”
Me: “No, that’s not how it works. She died.”
Sis: “Doesn’t matter. So what if she got pasted by a truck, an ex is an ex. You shouldn’t be letting him keep any pictures.”
Me: “You’re being extremely disrespectful to me & my husband right now. You’re a guest in this house. Walk back those comments & apologize, now.”
Sis: “Why should I apologize? How can you let him keep pictures of an ex-f**ktoy?”
I never knew his first wife, but I know how much she meant to him. I know how much he loves me. My sister talking about her like that insulted him, & by extension me – not to mention how disrespectful she was being to a poor woman who died young.
I said: “Get your crap and leave.”
I didn’t care that it was November in MN, or that she didn’t have anywhere else to go, or any money. She had been beyond disrespectful to me and my husband, over a single small photo.
Me: “If you’re worried about sleeping in your car this winter, you should’ve thought of that before insulting the people sheltering you.”
I made sure she was gone before my husband even got home. He was shocked when I told him what’d happened, since he’d always had a polite-neutral relationship with her. He thanked me for having his back.
I got a call from my mom, telling me it was my responsibility to take care of my sister. I laughed and hung up.
I’ve been asked by a few people how I could basically destroy my relationship with my sister over this, and have replied that she was the one who did so. Am i A Jerk for how I handled this?
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