My (30F) parents got divorced 6 years ago After we found out that my father was cheating on her. Out of the affair, they had a daughter, Annie (7F). After the divorce was settled we moved my mother out from our H hometown and went completely no contact with my father and his family (they were AH and toxic to me and my twin brothers). I have a good job with a nice salary, and so do my brothers (28M twins). I live with Mom and my brothers both have apartments close by, and we are very comfortable with what we have.
Three weeks ago we got a call that my father and his wife got into an accident and died leaving my sister with my grandparents. They all insisted that I take in my sister, basically guilt-tripping me and my brothers to take her in. Such a poor girl, both her parents died, leaving a young kid alone. Surely her sister will step up and raise her.
I told them I was not compromising my mom’s health (she requires constant care and I don’t mind because we can afford it and I love her and she’s gone through a lot), and as I’m also going to therapy I told them I wasn’t fit to raise a kid. Truth is, I just don’t want a kid around. I have plans of being childless, which my family knows about and they’re very supportive of my decisions. I don’t want a kid in my house, messing with our routines, and ruining my own plans. I don’t even know her, like, at all.
Then they started threatening us, gaslighting us, and all around harassing us even after I blocked them all. They came over to my house and almost made my mom relapse. I didn’t want the cops involved so my brothers took turns sleeping in my house so they could block off my father’s family. And they went on social media telling people that we are monsters for not willing to provide for Annie, and that we’re AH for not taking her in.
I am so stressed and now I don’t know what to do. My brothers are adamant that a kid is a big responsibility I don’t need to take, and Mom flat out doesn’t want Annie in our house. Am I A Jerk? What are your opinions?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: