Weddings are occasions to commemorate a significant commitment to unconditional love. Everyone in the wedding wants to have a good time. Read the story to know what happened during the wedding and let us know how you would handle the situation.
So I (f18) was asked to play the harp at a friend of my fathers wedding. Normally, I would ask for payment beforehand, but since it was a family friend, they asked if they could just pay me at the reception and I told them yes. The dates worked out for me, and it was set in a church about 1 hour from my house. I showed the dress I planned to wear to the bride when we went over the music she wanted and at the rehearsal, but only on a hanger. It looks like it would be ugly on a hanger, as it’s just navy blue with long sleeves and floor length, but it’s surprisingly pretty.
I got to the venue about 4 hours early, so my harp would have time to acclimate to the room. When I got there, the bride’s mother came to give me my corsage, and when she saw me, she demanded I change my dress. I laughed because I’ve known her for years, and then realized she wasn’t joking. I asked what was wrong with it and she said that the bride went with a non traditional dress that was also navy blue. I panicked a little, because this is her wedding and I felt really bad, but she and her groom had approved it twice. I told the mother, and she asked if I had any other color I could change into. I don’t bring extra dresses unless my dress somehow doesn’t get approved beforehand, so I didn’t. She then told me to go to the bridal shop 20 minutes away, and buy a new dress. I refused, because those dresses would cost about what I was getting paid for this wedding, and I told her I couldn’t afford it. I felt bad, but she begrudgingly walked away.
The actual wedding went smoothly, and after everyone else had left the church and congratulated the bride, I stopped to talk to her. I explained what the mother in law said, and she said that it was fine and that they weren’t thinking when they approved my dress. At the reception, when I talked with the mother in law about payment, she refused to pay me. I didn’t want to cause a scene, but the bride came over and heard us talking.
This time, she was also upset with me and also refused to pay me. I didn’t know what to do. As my parents were busy and couldn’t attend this wedding, I didn’t have anyone there to back me up. A lot of people assume harpists come from a lot of money because of how expensive harps are, but I’ve been renting a harp since 4th grade, and when my teacher passed, we bought it for an amazing deal. I also charge a lot less than most musicians would, but I have a college payment due in a few days and I can’t afford it. I got my parents involved when I got home, and my dad talked to his friend (the father of the groom) who was there when they approved the dress, and he got the payment for me. I still feel really bad, but I don’t think there was anything I could have done. Should I have just sucked it up and bought a new dress? AITA?
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