Source: USA TODAY
“I’m a 23-year-old female who came out as a lesbian over a year ago, and my mom keeps making offhand comments about my sexuality that bother me. She says she’s supportive and that she’s not homophobic, but then she keeps telling me to marry a man so I can have kids then I can go “be gay.” She’s said it multiple times, and last week even told me that one of our family friends agrees with her. She’s made other comments saying she hates the word lesbian and that I shouldn’t “put myself in a box.”
My sister told me this afternoon something that finally set me over the edge. I have a podcast and happened to be talking about a hate crime against a young gay man. I talked in the episode about my fears as a gay person. My mom told me to my face that she loved the episode but went to my sister and said she’d prefer I didn’t talk about these things in public. My sister is my best friend and she was not intentionally malicious by telling me this. So you could say I’m a bit frustrated. My dad had no idea that she made these comments, but we agreed that I can’t confront her because her mental health has been declining since my grandmother entered hospice. She also gets really defensive whenever she is confronted.
So I guess I just don’t know how to cope with these feelings. I can’t confront her and I feel like I can’t ignore it either. This is all very poor timing as I’m supposed to move into their house this July, so distance isn’t an option either. Any advice is appreciated.”