Christine Hartwell was taken aback when her 4-year-old daughter Julia returned home from preschool distraught about a series of occurrences in her classroom. It was so vexing that the Massachusetts family stated they were seeking a new preschool for the kid since her present school prohibited the usage of a common word used by both youngsters and adults.
Julia arrived home from the Pentucket Workshop Preschool in Georgetown, according to Hartwell, looking distraught and behaving strangely. When the mom inquired what was wrong, she stated she was terribly sorry about what her instructor did that day, Hartwell remembered. Her small child then informed her that her teacher had warned her that she could not refer to one of her classmates as her “best buddy.”
Christine Hartwell, in shock and fury, questioned her daughter’s school. She and her husband went to Pentucket Workshop’s director to learn more about the policy, which she claims is not spelt out in the school’s handbook. However, the school justified its position, claiming that they conducted research on the advantages and downsides of using the word “best buddy” and discovered that prohibiting its use fosters inclusivity in the classroom. They also said that they will continue to dissuade youngsters from using the word in public.
“It has been our experience (which spans decades) that the use of the term ‘best friend,’ even when used in a loving way, can lead other children to feel excluded […] which can ultimately lead to the formation of ‘cliques’ and ‘outsiders,’” school officials wrote in a letter to the Hartwells, according to the New York Post. Of course, Hartwell thought the answer was ridiculous and foolish and that youngsters should be allowed to talk freely.
The mother is concerned that the “ban” may have a bad impact on her daughter, who has been left confused and distressed. Hartwell added that her daughter is now cautious about referring to anyone as her best friend. Hartwell told me that even today she goes to express it in a loving manner; she is going to visit her closest buddy Charlie or this one or that, and she looks at her sideways. She’s checking in with her mom to see if everything is good.
How can one keep a four-year-old from expressing his or her emotions? Christine Hartwell inquired. It’s absurd, stupid, and painful. Hartwell also believes that best friends help children feel more confident at school, which is why she intended to withdraw Julia from the preschool and locate a new one where her daughter could still refer to someone as her best friend. She desires that she be able to express herself in a healthy manner, like children should, Hartwell added. Others seemed to agree as the “ban” received extensive media coverage.
After causing an uproar, the school suddenly changed its tune, claiming that the phrase was not banned. Contrary to inaccurate stories in the mainstream media and on social media, Pentucket Workshop Preschool has no policy prohibiting the usage of the word ‘best friends,’ the school noted in an online blog. It’s terrible that their best intentions were misrepresented, they continued.
Pentucket Workshop Preschool has assisted develop young kids for over 47 years by fostering compassion and respect. They will continue this endeavour by building an accepting environment. They will make no additional announcements due to their commitment to confidentiality, the school’s message stated.
While it seems that the restriction was never in writing, it is apparent that the institution attempted to prevent the usage of the word by their own admission. When they were confronted with criticism, they attempted to backtrack. Having friends is normal and beneficial, and this includes having a favourite or closest buddy. Instead of prohibiting students from using innocent terms, maybe the school could concentrate on teaching them how to create and be buddies.
Therefore, exclusion isn’t necessarily a terrible thing. Marriage is usually exclusive. Shall we also get rid of that? Where should the line be drawn? Rather than attempting to compel inclusion, perhaps we should focus on educating kids how to live with exclusion. One can teach kids to be courteous to one another, to have manners, and to be tolerant without requiring them to involve everybody in everything. Everyone will have some they are naturally closest to and prefer to spend out with, whether we call them “best friends” or not. Maybe our children simply must learn to accept the fact that they will not always be everyone’s favourite.
