Women serve as role models for those who recognise that there is a lot more to their smile than meets the eye, including hard labour, societal pressure, family pressure, a broken heart, a fatigued body, and the spirit of never giving up until they reach their objective. Here in this story the woman is confused about a major decision she has to take. Please read and suggest what you think she should do.
Source: Reddit
For anonymity I can’t go into details but My husband (34m) has developed something in IT that’s well known and it made him rich. I(38f) am a chef and I make probably 1/100 of what he does. It doesn’t matter for me however because I love my job. we have a great life together. We had our first child, a baby girl 3years ago and our twin boys are 9months old.
I have a few months left of my maternity leave, and with the country closing up again because of the new omicron variant, I started getting worried that my workplace won’t take me back. I voiced my worries to my husband a couple of days ago and he just shrugged and said it’s not like we needed the money. I was confused and told him that I knew that. It wasn’t about the money. He just shrugged. I was a bit annoyed tbh because I thought he didn’t think it a big deal that I became out of work.
Yesterday, I was still thinking about it so I decided to talk to him again. He was confused and told me that I should instead be happy that I could spend more time with my babies. And he asked me why I insisted on working when we have 3 small children and he made enough money for both of us. He didn’t like me working 4-5 evenings a week including 1-2 weekends a month.
I told him that I love my job and that I’m good at it. I have been doing it for almost 20 years now and that just the thought of not doing anything for the rest of my life is suffocating. He was visibly upset by then and he accused me of loving my job more than my babies and him. I could always cook at home for the family and If I was worried I would lose my independence he could transfer the same amount I earned from my job to my private account monthly.
I started crying and he kissed and hugged me and told me that he loved me but he has been thinking of this since our girl was born and he didn’t like me coming home late at night. So I needed to choose between my job or being a family. I was startled. Did he mean it as an ultimatum? He did. He actually wants me to be a housewife or we go our separate ways.
I went to my mom’s place first thing this morning. She listened to me talking and crying but when I finished she wasn’t indignant on my behalf, like I expected. She was silent for a while and then she asked me to think carefully about my next move. If we got divorced I need to think about my babies. I will never be able to give them the life their dad is giving them and I might lose them because of it. Is it worth it to change their lives so drastically and have them live in two separate houses? All that for a job. I have worked my whole adult life and I just could see this as an early retirement. Many dreamed of this why couldn’t I enjoy it?
I wasn’t expecting my mom saying these things. She’s always been this strong independent woman who raised us to be independent and taught me to never rely 100% on anyone other than myself. Hearing her say all that made me question my feelings. Before I met her I was totally sure I was right being hurt and angry but now I think maybe I’m overreacting and that my husband request wasn’t that unreasonable. But if that’s the case why do I feel like my heart is swollen in my throat? Why does it feel like he made this ultimatum because he knew he has power and he’s using it? Throw any suggestion or advice my way and please be honest (not rude, honest) because I feel I’m wronged here and I’m having a hard time thinking from my husband’s perspective.
