‘The special moment my 4yo agender child decided on their pronoun’

A genderqueer mother recalls the time her transgender child chose a pronoun.

Sydney mother Kyl recently discussed a really meaningful experience with her toddler, Zoomer, that occurred over a year ago.

“We did a really special pronoun check back in March 2020, around Z’s 4th birthday.” ‘What pronouns are you into for yourself these days, Zoomer?’ I inquired. Zoomer replied, ‘I love he/him!’ she said on Instagram.

“I grinned. ‘That’s fantastic, Zoomer. I’m very glad you discovered pronouns you like.”

Dr. Kyl Myers, who relocated to Sydney from the United States with her hubby Brent Courtney and their kid Zoomer in November 2020, immediately shared the news with Zoomer’s whole family.

Since then, they have informed family, friends, and Zoomer’s instructors that Z prefers he/him pronouns, and all jumped on board and switched, she noted.

“We realised we were saying they/them and promptly amended it to he/him.” ‘It’s okay,’ Z said once. I like them as well.’ ‘But if you LOVE he/him, it’s incredibly essential to me to use the pronouns you love,’ I said, smiling at Zoomer’s elegance.

“Zoomer grinned back and said, ‘Yeah, I love he/him,'” Kyl recalls distinctly.

“While Zoomer has used the phrase ‘boy’ to identify himself a few times, he still likes the labels ‘child’ and ‘person,’ as well as simply being called Zoomer.”

She continued to explain how her family performs pronoun checks on a daily basis.

“As we prepare to go for errands, Zoomer says, ‘Hey Mum, what pronouns do you want me to use for you today?'” “She recalls the story warmly.

“”I’m quite they/them this morning,” I say some days. “She/her feels well right now, thanks for asking,” I say on other days.

The proud mother, who nurtured her kid in a gender-neutral atmosphere, revealed why she waited so long to discuss Zoomer’s significant milestone.

“I waited to disclose since it’s been a crazy year, and I didn’t have the capacity to talk about it in all the press interviews for Raising Them, which was written when Z was antegender (before gender) and hadn’t asserted pronouns yet.”

She was, meanwhile, keen to explain a crucial aspect. “I’d want to remind people that disclosing Z’s pronouns does not reveal anything about his reproductive anatomy,” she says.

“I knew Zoomer would discover appropriate pronouns.” As a gender creative mom, I ensure Z had access to all of the pronouns to try on, hear used, and stack: Not for me; Maybe; I like; I love.

“Z understands that he/him pronouns can be used for the remainder of his life, that he may interchange pronouns as I do, that he can omit pronouns, and that he can develop new ones.” The gender creative journey does not finish here.”

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