Alicia counted the days between sending her first message on 23andMe to meeting her biological dad. It was 108. Before that, she had lived 34 years without knowing him. He didn’t even know about her, and was shocked to find out.
Some 35 years ago, Alicia’s bio dad was 28 and living the adventure of a lifetime. He, his brother and some of their friends were traveling the world doing what they loved to do… scuba diving. It finally led them all to Micronesia, which included the island of Guam.
Alicia’s mother was stationed in the Navy there. She and her bio dad met at a bar there and had a grand old time for a couple of weeks before the guy group had to take off. As soon as her bio dad left, her mom found out she was pregnant, and there was no way to get hold of him.
Alicia had always been curious about that unknown father she had. She looked a lot different from all of her other relatives. She had blue eyes, olive skin and tanned easily. They did not. And those ears of hers! Where did she get those ears from? There was really no resemblance at all.
She wanted to see if she could find out anything more about him, so she signed up for 23andMe in 2018 and hoped for the best. After a while, she stopped checking for anything because nothing was coming in. It wasn’t until February of 2020 that she checked again. And there it was. Someone, a male, with 50 percent of her DNA.
Says Alicia: “I knew I had to send a message knowing the interaction could be good or bad. I was so scared. I feared rejection. This had to be a hard pill to swallow. What if he had a family, what if he already had kids. This is information that could ruin lives and families. I drafted a message. It had to be perfect. I sent it to several friends who helped me edit it. I sent it. And then I waited. It was a LONG wait.
Nearly 24 hours later he responded. HE RESPONDED. I couldn’t believe it. As you could imagine, he was puzzled and wanted to understand how this could be. “I’ve been hiding in plain sight”, he said. I could appreciate his reaction. After all, I had known about him for years and he had just found out about me a couple of weeks ago. He wanted to know where I was born and who my mom was to try and solve this mystery for him.”
So Alicia wrote back and told him all about her, about her mom and how she was serving in the Navy in Guam when the two of them met and had a really nice time together. It wasn’t long after that that the two of them “met” over FaceTime. A week after talking to each other that way, Alicia’s bio dad and his wife wanted to meet her. They planned for March, but an earthquake put a stop to that. Then they waited until a better time.
They continued to talk on FaceTime and built up a very good relationship with each other. Alicia was introduced to her bio dad’s two daughters… her new sisters. Finally, they all met each other in July, and Alicia thought they were all amazing people.
Says Alicia: “This experience has been more than my wildest dreams could have imagined. I’ve been welcomed into their family and community, with the widest open arms. During our very first phone conversation I was posed this question, “What are you looking for out of this”? And my answer was as sincere and raw as it could be. “I honestly would just like to get to know you and maybe have a relationship with you and maybe your family. But if that’s not something that you’re interested in or comfortable with, I completely understand. I know how sensitive this is for all involved. I’m just thankful you’ve given me the opportunity to talk to you”.
He did just that. He gave me a chance. He gave me an opportunity to get to know him and then he opened his heart and his home and allowed me to get to know the rest of his family. And for that opportunity, I will be forever grateful.”
Alicia said she knows not every story like this is positive, and there are so many fears about reaching out and making that first step. It’s scary. But you’ll never really know for sure until you hit that send button.
You can follow her journey on: Facebook
