This is gonna sound a little dumb. It started off as a joke when we first married. A little command that you’d say to keep your partner there just a little longer. If he was leaving for work and I wanted one more kiss, id say “kiss your wife.” And her come back grinning to kiss me. It worked both ways and it was kind of unspoken that if one of us said “kiss your wife/husband” you had to.
During our first fight as a married couple, I was so mad. I wanted to storm out and he said “kiss your husband.” I was so upset but I also didn’t want to break the cycle. I’m stubborn that way. I marched over to him angrily and gave him an angry peck on the mouth. He laughed and said it again. So I kissed him again. This lead to us laughing and the fight ended. It was hard to fight over something stupid after that.
This became a normal thing in our marriage. Yes, we talked out a lot of issues but what helped us reach this point, was that little phrase..
Many years later, we are close to divorce. Life has thrown just about everything it can and we’ve distanced. It’s nobody’s fault. Times have made us so angry at one another that the phrase doesn’t even cross our minds anymore. Why would it? We are so sick of each other. There has been just so much stress and so many things I’d rather not get into.
Tonight we got into a fight. It was bad. About twenty minutes later he comes out yelling and being an a**hole. Not the man I married. In front of the kids. I don’t know what possessed me because I was also upset, but as he was walking away grumbling, I said “stop..” he didn’t. I said “kiss your wife!” I don’t think I expected it to work.
He stopped, turned around angrily and then relaxed, walked to me and kissed me. It wasn’t just a peck either, he gave me a real kiss. Deep, loving. I hugged him as we stood there and he held me. I got the kids settled with a movie and we talked. It had been a long time coming but that stupid joke phrase opened a door. We still might not make it because like I said we’ve been through so much. But.. for the time being, it calmed us down. Calmed him down. Reminded us both of our roots.
Kiss your wife/husband.