Source: Reddit
I use the quotation marks around the word husband because even though we are technically married, I don’t think of him as my husband anymore. All feelings I had for him are gone. I’m just going to refer to him as A.
I just found out that A has been lying to me essentially since we started dating. The only thing he was ever honest with me about was his medical condition of him being a diabetic. He would tell me these stories of exes, friends, and family all using him and sometimes abusing him.
As someone with a similar past, I sympathized with him and felt that him being open and communicating these things with me meant that he was different than the rest. One story he told me was that him and his ex were driving along the freeway after she picked him up from the airport or wherever he had just came from. They got into an argument and she pulled over, grabbed his clothes out of the trunk and threw them into the wind. He of course gets out to get his stuff and then she takes off leaving him on the side of the freeway.
THIS DIDN’T EVEN HAPPEN! According to his sister, who I just met not too long ago, A did that to HER! NOT THE OTHER EAY AROUND!! I know A’s sister is telling the truth as she had to go pick his ex up off the side of the freeway.
Another story, the big one, the one that makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it, A was dying in a hospital in North Carolina. His blood sugar tanked, he was in a diabetic coma, he had contracted covid and was on a ventilator. A doctor had called me from the hospital telling me all this. I go into crisis mode and aside from my hands shaking, I’m very calm. I talk to this doctor multiple times. I talk to his mother, who found out before me, multiple times. They ask me, since I’m the wife, if I want to withdraw care since he doesn’t have an advanced directive. A had said many times, if something like that happened to him he just wanted to go peacefully. No fighting, no extra measures, nothing just to let him go and I told the doctor that.
I COME TO FIND OUT A WEEK AGO THAT NEVER HAPPENED EITHER! I called the number the doctor gave me for the “hospital” it’s disconnected. I call his mom’s number, disconnected. I ask A’s sister what their mom’s number is and it’s completely different than the one I had. I text their mom and she tells me he was never in the hospital, she never flew out to be with him in the hospital, and that A was with his brother the whole time.
He had created multiple numbers to text me and call me to corroborate his story, he also enlisted atleast 2 different people to call me pretending to be his mom and hospital staff. As far as I know, everything he has ever told me is a lie. I don’t know what is real and what is fabrication. WHY EVEN LIE ABOUT THAT?! Why lie about ANYTHING?! I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I bought into everything he ever told me. I saw all the red flags and convinced myself they weren’t there. I go from feeling sick to my stomach, to completely numb, to enraged.
Finally I have left him, physically at least. I am home and don’t know or care where he is. He ditched me in Texas and told me to find my own way home aka Oregon, then he drove off to who knows where. Later today I will be doing research on attorneys to get a restraining order and filing for divorce. He has an email address of mine, if he really needs to contact me. If he does contact me and it isn’t about divorce I am not responding.
