A couple shares an apartment with one bathroom, but the husband spends upwards of 40 minutes in the morning using it for “me time” instead of just using it for its intended purpose, causing embarrassment and inconvenience for his wife who also needs to use the bathroom. The wife suggests he limits his time to 10 minutes, but the husband accuses her of trying to control his bathroom time.
My husband and I own the apartment, so moving isn’t an easy option. HOWEVER, the apartment has two bedrooms PLUS an office space that’s exclusively his so there’s lots of alternative areas besides the toilet that he could use (and does use!) to have privacy. Also, he works from home and his hours are shorter than mine so he does already have alone time to begin with.
My husband (40M) and I (37F) live in an apartment with only one bathroom. In the morning, he spends upwards of 40 minutes going to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, answering emails, scrolling social media and also, of course, actually using the bathroom. To be very very clear, he does not have any IG issues that require that amount of time on the toilet, it is purely a “me time” thing.
The issue is that I too need to use the toilet in the morning. We have virtually the same diet, so it should come as no surprise that I generally have to use th bathroom at around the same time he does. Nearly every morning, I have to text my husband to ask if he’s almost done, which is frankly annoying and embarrassing. I know everyone poops, but I don’t’ love having to broadcast it and beg to use the bathroom nearly every day.
My issue is that he doesn’t need to be sitting there for 40 minutes and he’s creating this annoying and embarrassing problem. I’ve asked him directly about it; he says that he’s usually done within a few minutes, but he likes having some time to himself. I don’t understand why he can’t have alone time virtually anywhere else besides the one spot in our apartment that can’t be shared and is essential. I’ve told him that I’ll leave him alone, can he please do that somewhere else and he says its not the same.
I recently asked him if he could limit his time on the toilet to 10 minutes. I said it’s embarrassing to be really need to go to the bathroom and have to beg him to hurry up or have to use a public bathroom nearby our home. He said I was being an a**hole for trying to control his bathroom time. But I think he’s being an AH for picking the ONE PLACE in our apartment that’s very necessary to have alone, quality time. Am I A Jerk ?
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