While every relationship is distinct and runs in its own unique manner, it is evident that there are certain tried and proven strategies that may help the romance continue.
From frequent date nights to more basic practices like effective communication, honesty, and emotional support, there are a number of pretty standard things that couples do to make their marriage survive.
But after stating that her key to a successful marriage is living in a separate home from her spouse, one lady has provided some somewhat different advice.
While it’s increasingly typical for couples to have separate bathrooms or even separate bedrooms, one Brooklyn lady has chosen to live in a whole separate home from her spouse.
Bianca Turetsky, 43, and Dr. Peter Bach, 58, married in September 2021 and broke with custom by staying at their own homes.
Turetsky, an author, continues to live in the same apartment she has shared with her cat housemate Cleo for the last decade, but Bach has remained in the home he occupies with his teenage son.
Turetsky underlined the necessity of having her ‘own life’ before marrying in a piece published last week (7 June).
Saying ‘I do’ for the first time at 42 implied having her own life already built, she wrote. Following the traditional playbook wouldn’t make anyone happy. Why did they have to follow outmoded rules? Why couldn’t they just make it up as they went? Who decides what constitutes a good marriage?
Turetsky said the first time she realized she couldn’t live with Bach or his son was after learning about his cat allergy.
She said that she soon discovered that Peter and his then-teenage son were both allergic to cats. Like allergies that cause one’s throat to close up. Cleo would never be able to be a part of a home with him, and she had no intentions to have a life without her — no wedding ring was worth giving up.
However, even when Bach’s son left for college, the couple continued to live apart.
Turetsky and Bach will spend a couple evenings a week at each other’s residences before returning to their own homes for some alone time.
Most individuals they tell about their unconventional living situations move pretty quickly from surprise to curiosity to, in certain instances, a little envy, she said.
The lady stated that she had perfected the 38-minute drive from her flat to her husband’s house: she can do the 38-minute commute in her sleep. At 14th St., transfer from the 1 to the 2 express. She knows which vehicle to take to save platform time.
Turetsky emphasized that despite the slightly long travel, she and Bach appreciate every minute together.
They’ve been together for almost six years now, and yet a mundane weekday evening still feels like a date, she said.
While Bach is presently searching for a new house a ‘few metro stations closer’ to Turetsky, the couple has no intentions to live together permanently.
She believes this living arrangement is the secret to their joy, Turetsky stated. It’s become a cliche that separate bathrooms are the key to a happy marriage. They’ve decided on distinct boroughs. This is not what she expected from marriage. It’s a lot better.
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